Another week, and another prompt for the Friday Fictioneers graciously provided by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
The task is to write a story: beginning, middle, and end, in 100 words or less. You can find all the Fictioneers’ stories when you click on the Froggy. Please read, comment, and if you like, join the fun. Everyone is welcome.
People like me who like and need constructive criticism label their posts with a C, according to the guidelines of the Friday Fictioneers Concrit Subgroup.
Trying the dialogue again…
Tulips and Daffodils“Daffodils. Tulips and Daffodils. What were you thinking?” “I… I only…” “Yeah, right. Only wasting our precious soil. The plan was to boost morale with that picnic. But you…” “I thought they liked them.” “Liked them? They were crying. This is bad.” “Where is Dr. Cameron?” “General Larsson! An honour. She’s right there. Please…” “Leave us.” “General?” “Go! — Dr. Cameron, was it your idea to plant these flowers?” “Yes…” “Good! It was the perfect demonstration of what terra-forming on Mars is all about. It’s not only about crops. Food fills our stomachs but beauty feeds our souls. Plant more flowers.” (100 words) |
Featured image: From http://www.space.com/31687-zinnia-not-first-flower-in-space.html — If you’re interested in flowers in space, read the article, it’s very interesting.
Write already! 
That’s my kind of story, terraforming on Mars, with flowers to feed our souls with beauty. xo
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Thank you so much, fellow Marsling. 😀 I’m very pleased you enjoyed it. Now, let’s get to work…
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Definitely. It’s great to be partners. ((Hugs)).
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Loved this. Beauty does feed the soul.
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I’m glad you agree. 😀 Thank you.
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‘Beauty feeds our souls’ – I love that!
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I’m glad you like, thank you! 🙂
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Oo, all dialogue and no speech tags at all, with more than two people, how gutsy of you! It was a teensy bit confusing, but I think the important bits of who’s who came through. And I love the terraforming on Mars twist: nicely done.
I tried the same all-dialogue technique with a longer short story. I only had two people going back and forth which was easier to keep track of but there was also a lot more “stuff” to get across, which was challenging. Check it out if you get the chance, G:
https://talesofeneana.wordpress.com/2015/06/28/burning-questions/
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Heh. Thank you. Sometimes experiments are necessary. I’m going to check out your story.
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Even better, sometimes experiments are FUN! 😉
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I just read your story, but am on bus with ipad. Longer comment later. Loved it!
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And who says we can’t have tulip fritters in Mars? We are supposed to weighless in space .
Nicely done story. We do need beauty for our soul.
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We do, don’t we? I won’t recommend the tulip fritters though, they’re poisonous. Thank you, I’m glad you had fun.
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I like your surprise ending. Very reaffirming.
Ω
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I’m glad you like, thank you.
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Ha! I’m glad the person in charge has seen the benefit of the flowers.
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Exactly. All work and no play would make Mars a very dull planet. 🙂 I’m glad you liked, thank you.
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I love General Larsson! And Dr. Cameron!
Fun stuff!
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The general just showed up when I wondered how to end that conversation. No idea where he came from, but I like him, too. Glad you enjoyed, thank you. 🙂
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At least someone has an eye for the finer things in life. Nicely done
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I’m convinced they are necessary for us. Glad you liked, thank you.
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Yay for General Larsson – somebody knows what living is about.
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Yes he does, thank you! 🙂
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Beauty v bureaucracy – thank goodness beauty won this time round
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Indeed. Sadly, most of the time it’s the other way around. Thank you.
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I like the idea of planting flowers on Mars and the General’s reaction to it. It was confusing at first to tell who was who with no attributions, but when I read it through the second time, I got it pretty well. With only 100 words to work with, minimalism rules. 🙂
-David
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Thank you. It’s good to know that it was confusing. It was an experiment, and to me of course it was all crystal clear. I’m glad that the meaning still came across though. 🙂
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Lovely story! (If you read mine, you’ll know why.) I almost missed you. My reader showed your header instead of Recliner’s photo. 🙂
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Great minds think alike and all that. 😉 Yours is a lovely story and I’ll go comment later. Sorry about that header thing… I usually comment through the in-linkz since it brings me directly to the stories and I can–kind of–keep track. I know that many others go through the reader though. I’ll have to look into that.. I like the featured photos, but readers’ comfort is more important. Thanks for mentioning it.
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I have been out in my cold damp garden counting which of my babies have survived the winter and cheering on the daffodils and tulips. A heart-warming story!
I love potatoes (apparently they grow well in Martian soil and Matt Damon’s sh**.) and I adore flowers – I am definitely warming to your campaign on behalf of the cold planet.
And well done on the dialogue only – I have never been quite so brave, but I agree with the spirit of experimentation. I had to work hard, but the story made complete sense to me.
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Mars surely can need some warmth, but I’m afraid once there are people there, it’ll warm up faster than anyone would like… we seem to have a knack for that. I’m glad you found your way through my trialogue. Thank you! 🙂
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I think it’s a perfect end. To sustain on barren soil we would need some beauty too…
It took me a few readings to understand it was three people in the dialogue… But I do love the concept.
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Word count restrains bring out the worst in me. 😉 I’m glad you found your way through it. Thank you.
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No I really liked the story… I think a few words just at the transition would have helped….
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Don’t know why, but this reminds me of the quote on the Friday fictioneers page,’It’s not what you look at but what you see that matters.’
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Heh, I like that. Thank you. 🙂
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🙂
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and that’s the way i like it. well done. 🙂
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I’m glad you like it, thank you! 😀
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Yes Sir! More flowers! Nice 🙂 I like the dialogue format!
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Thank you, Terry. Glad you liked. 🙂
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You’re welcome!
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Quite right too! Pland more flowers.
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More flowers are always good. Thank you!
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Good dialog. 🙂
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I’m glad you like it, thank you! 🙂
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She’s got the formula right. I’m glad she has a superior who understands. Well built dialogue.
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I’m glad you think so, thank you Margaret. I think a projekt like settling on Mars would go down really fast if there were incompetent leaders.
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I must confess, I got a little lost in the dialogue without an occasional tag to reference the speaker. Once I figured it out, I like the story line.
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Thank you! For me this was an interesting experiment, and educational. I’m glad you liked.
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And THAT is why she is the general!
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Heheh. Absolutely. Thank you.
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Dear Gabriele,
All the good comments have been taken. 😉 Someone needs to fill the world with color. Without it we live a dull existence.
Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is so good, it should be a quote. Thank you, Rochelle. 😀
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Great story! Love the Mars terraforming 😀 Have you read the Mars series from Kim Stanley Robinson? Loved those books… this reminded me of them 🙂
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I’m glad you liked. No, I haven’t read these books, but will check them out. I am in need of something good to read. Thank you! 🙂
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Ah, well if you like hard core science fiction with all the sciency stuff, you will love them.. the interpersonal stories woven between all of that is great too… there are three THICK books, Red Mars, Green Mars and Blue Mars ….And you are most welcome 🙂
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That sounds great! I do like the sciency stuff. 😀
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Awesome! then you will LOVE those books!
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Great story. I hope flower lovers are some of the first people to settle Mars. I loved the story. We need more people like that. Some others take all the fun out of life. Well done, Gah. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I think most astronauts know what’s important, they really seem delighted about their zinnias in the ISS. I’d think that at least early settlers would think likewise. I’m glad you liked, thank you Suzanne. 🙂
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What a positive message, Gah. I hope they consider planting flowers on Mars, if they can! Life isn’t the same without flowers.
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Thank you, Amy. I’m sure they will. Plant scientists love the esthetical aspect of botany, too.
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